My mother brainwashed me. She brainwashed me into believing that she loved me, thereby believing love SUCKED. She brainwashed me into believing people who cared about me were going to hurt me. She brainwashed me into believing people who were hurting me cared about me. She brainwashed me into being distrustful of everything and everyone, to be distrustful of truth itself. And she brainwashed me into being distrustful of myself.

Now that little voice in the back of my mind, that harping voice, won’t leave me for a moment. But I just need a minute to catch my breath! Please! I might be able to heal these wounds if she could just be silenced and let me do my work. But it's not her voice anymore. Her voice became my own over the years, the echo of every poisoned word she used to sicken me, weaken me, to murder my soul.

And in my head my own voice rings out clearly, over and over, as some part of me so rightly believes, “you’re not good enough”, “you’re not worth it”, “you’re a waste of time” — “who could ever love you?”